He probably knew you were faking it...

After a couple of bad dates, a girl has to ask herself, 'why me?'. I went into this date like I did any other, I took a shower, put on a cute outfit, applied the makeup, and waited for about 45 minutes before he arrived to my house. I went through every phase during that 45 minute waiting period. I was excited, nervous, absolutely dreading it, scared and anxious. going on a date with my best friends cousin? It was weird- to say the most, if not the least.

He picked me up at 6:15. I rushed out of the house as fast as I could with him, grabbing my coat from my car as I went. I had no idea what to talk about with him, knowing that I didn't want anything to happen right off hand. In fact, I didn't want anything to happen really at all. I knew I wasn't ready for that, and he was too nice of a guy for him to be my rebound. Getting out of a ten-month serious relationship, then actually dating that person for three more months, just ending it all less than a week ago, I wasn't ready for anything serious. I was just testing the waters, wondering where I still stood with the whole flirting ordeal.

After trying two restaraunts and having to wait for an absurd amount of time for a Saturday night, we decided on going to a little restaraunt that was in front of my old dance studio. It was good food, and there was no way it was going to be busy. We got right in there and sat at my designated table.

After fifteen minutes of engaging convorsation, our salads came. Yes, I ordered an anipasto salad, and he got a Honeymustard Walnut salad. Okay, first of all- I appreciate that you eat salad, that's good for you and everything- but...I don't think I could date a guy that eats a salad that is obviously labeled 'chick food'. Maybe I'm being absolutely stupid, maybe not. But, a SALAD? You're a guy! Anyways, the convorsation did not brighten my mood any. Turns out, he doesn't like the movie The Holiday. Doesn't matter who you are, that's a freaking good movie. There's a character for everyone, seriously! After a while, we kind of ran out of things to talk about, so we made small talk. I never thought I could meet a guy who talked more than I do, but I obviously proved myself wrong. By the time I finished my third glass of water, our salads were basically gone, and the check had been laying waiting to be paid for around fifteen minutes, he finally asked if I wanted to leave to go sledding. We had decided earlier that we weren't going to go to a movie, because there weren't that many good ones playing. So, sledding it was.

The drive home wasn't too entertaining. In all honesty, I couldn't tell you what we talked about during dinner or the drive. I was yawning too much, and my bed just sounded way too nice. So, regretfully, I asked him if it would be okay if I split early. I just wanted my bed and a nap. With him saying yes, it was okay, came the akward part. The picturesque standing on the front porch debating about a kiss goodnight. I saw him lean in, kind of, but I was too quick with the hug. Then, I turned around opening the door as fast as I could and jetted inside my house. Then I ran to the bathroom because my bladder felt like it was going to explode.

Am I the biggest witch of the east? I feel like I shouldn't even be able to date. Like I'm the worst at it- and I fail. This is a REALLY great guy, and I just don't know why I'm not attracted to him. There was more than one point in the evening when I wished I had some alchochol to help me attempt to make that a good date. Then I went to go hang out with my friends when I was supposed to be sleeping. Why isn't dating ever as easy as it is on The Hills, or Laguna Beach, or any other television show? yes, I know, that's because it's T.V., not real life. Or, because I'm not pretty and this is real life. Either or. I just want a nice guy, who I'm actually attracted to, to be interested in me. I thought I had found it with the last boyfriend...but I didn't. I just need to be single for a while, hang out with the girls. guys need to know that. I need to know that. And right now, I'm still trying to convince myself.
Zigblaster: lol he prolly knew you were faking it
Zigblaster: i think every guy can if the girl get "sick" half way through
KrizTbell06: oh lord
KrizTbell06: don't make me feel even worse.