Rant & Raves

So, this time, I don't really have that interesting of a topic. I'm going to rant & rave, and if you don't like it, stop reading. Right here, right now. That's your warning-- abide to it.

my complaint list for September 26th, 2007:
-Cramps. You can go terrorize some boy from now on, because I don't think they understand how truly heinous they can be. apparently it is the equivilent to being kicked in the balls. Too bad whether boys believe it or not, it is. When I get these god-forsaken pulses that help remind me that I'm not pregnant and about to endure a pretty bad week, I am not able to walk. Not able to walk, and the feeling that I'm about to throw up every twenty-four seconds. Luckily, they usually only last a day...however, it is the worst day of the month I have. Boys, you don't get kicked in your netherregions once a month, let alone for a week straight. Stop saying that cramps are nothing compared to what you experience-- you have no idea and neither do we. I just have one question for you. Would you like to be introduced to child birth instead?

-Professor Jing. What's worse than an asian man speaking very bad broken english with a horrid combover? Having to sit throug his lecture for an hour & 50 minutes. What's even worse than that? Having cramps while doing it. He makes up his own dates for the sculputures, and doesn't even know their correct name. The book says one thing, Anning Jing says another. Just because you have an extensive interest in Buddhist art does NOT mean that I do, nor anyone else in this class. This is not what we signed up for, this is not what we want to learn about. This is not what you should be teaching.

-The Internet in Wonders Hall. What is up with the internet working five feet away from me at Heather's desk (her computer), but not on mine?! My wireless is hooked up, and so is my ethernet cord. I don't get it. My wireless works in my classes. I've turned my computer on & off multiple times in hopes that it will work. Does it recognize the networks? yes. Will it connect to the internet? Absolutely not. Eff you, MSU internet!! You're retarded.

-General Motors. This one, I'm actually going to commend GM. Way to reach an agreement only two days after the strike was called. Thank you for putting my father and 72,999 other people back to work. Now, let's go Legislature. Let's figure that budget out.

That's about it right now, I do believe. Didn't like it? Too bad. Stop reading. These aren't your complaints, they're mine. Deal with it! I'm a girl who's about to embark on the worst month in the world, on a horrible day where all my emotions are like the Millenium Force rollercoaster, and I can start crying at the drop of a hat. I can become defensive within 2.2 second and bite your head off within 1.5. Don't upset me, and be careful, you're on thin ice. Have a great rest of the day :)

I need to start reading the newspaper.

So here's the dealio. GM workers are working twelve hour days while the UAW and GM are having negotiations regarding their contract. The old contract expired September first, and there isn't a new one yet. GM employees are working without a contract trying to avoid a strike. Is a strike inevitable? Most likely. That's problem number one.

Problem number two? Michigan may not have a budget soon. If the legislators keep leaving the capitol with nothing settled by the deadline (which is dangerously close and it doesn't sound like they will), all state workers will be out of work until they reach a new budget agreement. The reason they will be out of a job, is because the state won't have money to pay them...and who want's to work for free? The state will have no money what-so-ever. The legislature needs to raise taxes in order for the government to get out of debt, but the legislature doesn't want to do that, either.

Problem number three: My mom is a research assistant for hte legislature. My dad is an electrician for GM. Now, if GM goes on strike, my dad doesn't get paid. He gets to stand out on a picket line( with me right beside him if I don't have class), get free donuts, and then come home. Not a big deal-- my family can live off one paycheck, we've done it before. However, if the legislature doesn't reach an agreement before the deadline, and both my parent's are out of work? That could be a problem. My family will be scrimping off the edges, and I'll be the only one working. Thank God my schooling is paid for already, so I can stay and continue studying...but, when I do get a paycheck, it would go to help my family out. I remember scrimping in 8th grade, and although we can do it, it wasn't pleasant. No extra things like movies, going out to dinner, and we only got the bare minimum when we went shopping. Jay was so young he doesn't remember that-- Jack kind of does, but I really do. I don't want my brother's to have to know what scrimping really is. I don't even really know what it is, but if it comes down to Michigan not having a budget and GM being on strike, they'll know scrimping like I never knew.

All I know right now, is, that GM and the Union need to come to agreements on a new contract, and the Legislature needs to come to agreement on a new budget...SOON.

Plus, if my dad gets hurt on the job and he doesn't have a contract saying he gets health insurance from it--not only will he be pissed, but so will I. That contract really helped us out when he fell off the 40 foot ladder and broke his foot.

Asoka Towers, Stupas, next comes Buddha.

Let's start this entry off with a question. Don't worry, it's easy. all multiple choice.

Sweats, baggy t-shirt, and a huge coffee shop mug filled with hot chocolate. What does that sound like to you?
A.) me procrastinating work
B.) Me in the mood to write
C.) Me taking a break from studying
D.) me being pissed off
E.) all of the above.

See, I told you it was easy. Go with your intuition, if you're still having a little bit of a hard time. If you've choosen E, all of the above, you are entirely correct. Let's start at the beginning. I mean, it only seems logical. Or, we can skip around in order like my Art History professor. You know what? Indeed let's do just that. I am taking a break from studying (C). I've had enough of Psychology, Spanish, History, and stupid Buddhist art. Therefore, I wanted/needed a break. Am I procrastinating the rest of my work(A), as well? Yes. Anne Orthwoods Bastard just does not seem appealing to read right now...however, the reading is due on Tuesday, followed by a quiz...and I still have 150 pages to read. I am, also, in the mood to write(B). I haven't done it in a while, and even though I don't really have a topic, random thoughts will come out. Plus, I'm dressed the part. I can't just have a huge mug of hot chocolate, be wearing grungy clothes and not write. It's not in my networking. Yes, I did just refer to my genetic makeup as networking. I've been hanging around geeks and dating a geek for way too long. How about answer D, being pissed off? This is where the real fun begins, readers. Oh, read on and enjoy.

My Art History class. In the course schedule, this class is described as learning about world art, the history of world art. So, in my naive mind, I'm thinking the Mona Lisa, maybe some statues from the Roman Empire...no. We're learnign about Buddhist art. No problem-- except the prof. is an Asian man, who has a bad combover and speaks in very bad bbroken english.

You know what? I've lost all desire to even write about this. It's bed-time.

Spartans--what is your profession??

For as much as Jenn and I don't speak, and don't keep in contact, I will always owe her for a statement she made to me my Freshman year of college. It was fall of 2006, and I was having a very rough time at MSU. A bad roomate, horrible classes, not many good friends, not many friends at all, actually, and bad cases of home-sickness played into me wanting to transfer schools. This was the topic of our phone convorsation one day. Transferring to Central and hanging out with all of hte amazing people I had met up there. Then, she said something that gave me the courage to stay at Michigan State University.

"State is your dream, babe. You can transfer up here to Central with me if you want, which I would love, but Michigan State is your dream school."

Was I really going to give up on what I had wanted since I was a little girl? After I had worked so hard to get into this school, pulled everything together last semester so I could stay here, was I really going to give up my reward for all my hard work? No, I wasn't. She was right. MSU was my dream, and I'm so stoked to be here today.

Now walking down Wilson Rd. on my way to the most boring class in the world, I stopped in the BioMed building for a Spartys mocha capp. I smile because I'm making this year so much better than last year. Good friends, good classes, parties and football games, this year has already trumped last year by far.

So, even though we don't talk anymore, and our lives are going seperate ways (like most people's do after high school), I just want her to know she gave me the strength to carry on at MSU. I'm having the time of my life, and I will forever remember her quote. I'm not saying she's soley responsible for me staying here, my parent's, boyfriend, and new friends I made were a deciding factor, too, but the quote helped a lot. So, I will forever be thankful to her for that. Thank you, Jennifer, I will be forever grateful. If it were not for that quote, reminding me of my dream, I wouldn't be having the time of my life today. Besides, after 300, who wants to be anything BUT a Spartan??

I'm freaking Dr. Phil

him: she doesnt talk about anything important.

him: and thats what a relationship is for me.

him: someone to talk to, about anything and everything, but more so if its something thats important to either of us.

him: and nothing is ever important to her, and therefore nothing important to me is ever really that important.

him: so we just sort of talk about the weather.

me: which sucks.

me: because really, what you're looking for in a relationship is a best friend.

me: and best friends know basically everything about each other.

me: they're the one you run to when you need help,

me: when you need someone to be there for you,

me: when serious things occur, when you need advice.

me: but they're also there just to go shopping, or to watch a movie, goof around with.

me: ultimately, you're looking for them to be the person who knows you the best. the one who when you say you don't want to talk to anyone, knows when you need to talk, and when to back off.


Wow, between my Ben & Jerry's quote earlier (Ben and Jerry are my two favorite boys. They're perfect to hang out with on a laid-back Saturday night, always willing to hang out with your girls, and they're always there to pick you up when you've fallen from a heartbreak.)

Finally Got over that song of ours...

Finally got over that song of ours; stopped chasin' little red sports cars,
To check the license plates and I quit drivin' by your place.
Back makin' the rounds at our old haunts: Honky Tonks, restaurants.
And seein' some of our old friends: it feels good to dance again.
And I can finally smell your perfume and not look around the room for you.
And I can walk right by your picture in a frame and not feel a thing.

But when I hear your name,
I feel rain fallin' right out of the blue sky.
And it's the fifth of May, and I'm right there starin' in your eyes.
And nothin's changed, and we're still same.
And I get lost in the innocence of a first kiss,
And I'm hangin' on to every word rollin' off of your lips:
And that's all it takes, and I'm in that place,
Every time I hear your name.


~Keith Anderson knows exactly how to describe my feelings right now. Everytime I hear your name...the first verse and the chorus explain it all. I'm moving on with my life, and I can't wait for the next first kiss. There's a whole new firsts I'm ready for- and I can't wait. Listening to that song tonight made me realize, I can listen to You Save Me, I'm dealing with everyone who asks if I'm still dating you, and it doesn't hurt and I don't hesitate to say no anymore. I look back on the times we had, and realize that you helped me to be the person I am today, and not only that, you helped me make one of the best friendships I have now. I look at pictures, and smile. I talk about you with no tinge of sadness at all. I know I've thanked you before, but I'm doing it again. I remember all the times we had (the good and the bad), and realize I wouldn't trade them for the world. And I can't wait to screen all of your new girlfriends, tell you how you can do so much better but if you like them, then go for it. And I can only hope that you'll be completely honest with all of my upcoming boyfriends, too. Not going to lie, I'll always have a twinge of jealousy that those girls are with you, even though I don't want you, it's the whole I can have someone new but you can't. I'll deal with it, though, just like you'll have to. So, adios, and I can't wait for all of my firsts that are upcoming. And, I especially can't wait for the next summer fling. Because those, are the best.

And in the mix of things, the Spray Butter was lost

"We didn't ever lose each other, we just got separated from the herd and it took the shepard a while to find us."

The above statement, is completely true. It's amazing how you can not talk to a person for two or three months, think about them all the time, wonder about them, not take the pictures down of them, know you might see them, be cordial, but nothing really more, and then have a connection with them you haven't had in a long time.

It was just a simple job. Take her boyfriend up to 7/11 to get some spray butter. He walks out, is yelling in the phone, and slams my new car door. What's wrong? His girlfriend (my long-time best friend) is at her ex-boyfriends house. Now, this isn't just any ex-boyfriend...It's her first love. One she never wanted to see again. This, is a big deal. Shaking my head, I just knew what I had to do. Without question I drove back to the house we were at. He ran inside, grabbed any guy who would go, and told me to stay. Yea, right. I told him I was driving.

Let's take a step back here. Even though I hadn't talked to this girl, I knew what she needed. A.) not to be there, B.) for her boyfriend not to be yelling at her because of it, C.) someone to yell at the people she was with for letting her go there, and D.) Me to get her out of there okay and alive. Yes, that's a little bit cockey of myself...but no one else was right for the job.

She knew something was up when she saw me walk through the door. I motioned for her to come to me, and she did. No questions asked. There wasn't even a look in her eye. I whispered to her "go talk to him". They did. Fifteen minutes and almost one fight later (Yes, I was going to hit a girl. Don't put it past me- she was the one who made short stuff go), they came back. I could tell she wasn't okay even when I asked her. So, a big hug was in order. I could feel her trembling, so I took her outside. Like I said, I know this girl, and she knows me.

We talked for a while, until we were both freezing cold. Turns out, she didn't want to be there. She was uncomfortable, but she was the DD. I told her it didn't matter. If she wanted to leave, then it was time to leave. I told her she needed to learn the rules of being the DD :). I gave her the old spiel I usually give her, and then we went back inside. We rounded up the guys and left.

Her boyfriend was smoking outside, and she started yelling at him. I grabbed her arm and made it clear she had no right to say anything at that moment in time. The thing with this girl is, we could not talk for months, and if one of us was in trouble, or somewhere where she needed rescuing, the other would be there in a heartbeat. And not only that, we could still be frankly honest and yell at the other one if they were being ignorant and wrong, and the other wouldn't take offense to it. She was in no position to say anything to him, and he was in no position to say anything to her, either. I was the ref. Yep, black & white stripes all the way- a yellow card was being held up. We held hands the whole way home, and I even drove her car back to the party with our friends for her.

She and I talked in the car, just covering the basics of the last few months. She had checked up on me, as I did her. However, instead of doing it the old-fashioned way, she just did the smart thing. She read. What did she read? The very thing you're reading now. to tell you the truth, I wouldn't have even thought of it. and that's why I told her she was the smarter one out of the two of us.

The party was broken up by parent's about a half hour after we got back, so we headed over to my house (she had had another opportunity to speak to her boyfriend, and things were getting better between the two of them). We hot-tubbed it for about ten minutes before we got a call saying to go to another house. She went, I stayed. She needed to, I didn't. I got a call five minutes after she left my house. She said, "You want to hear my philosophy?" of course I was intruiged, "We didn't lose each other, we just got separated from the herd and it took the shepard a little while to find us".

"We'll never lose each other." was my response. And now, here I am, writing this, waiting for her to return. Even if she didn't (which I know she will, her blanket & pillow is still here), I'd be okay with it. Because what needed to be done was done tonight.

It's not the same, and it won't be for a while, but we're working on it. It will be, eventually, and I can't wait for that day to come. Whether it be this summer,tomorrow, sometime next year, or even in three years. It'll be a great day. And, I have a feeling, I won't even recognize the day. I'll look back three years after it happens, and laugh about how dumb I was, because I've finally realized we were back to normal...which, for us, really isn't normal at all.

Truly great friends are hard to find, difficult to leave, and impossible to forget....G. Randolf.